Motherhood - Amy Lawrence

I am writing this article in response to several young ladies that have told me that

they plan to never have children. There are women that know themselves and

understand that motherhood is not for them, but for a teenager to say that they want

no children is heartbreaking - because they are not aware of how wonderful

motherhood can be. I won’t lie - it is a challenge. Bringing another human being into

this world and having them depend on you for safety and sustenance is not an easy

job. Some women may not be able to physically deliver a child, but, through adoption,

can still become as much a mother as any female. It is a serious undertaking.

Unfortunately, not all mothers take the role seriously.

The sad truth is that the majority of women in this world have no intention of

becoming mothers…but still engage in the method by which children are created.

God’s law prohibits sexual intercourse outside of marriage, 1 Cor. 7:1-2, and for good

reason. Marriage is a commitment. If one is unwilling to commit to marriage, then one

forfeits the rights of marriage. The annual 1.1 billion abortions in the U.S. alone tell a

gruesome tale; unmarried women want what they can’t have and then have what they

don’t want. (Yes, married women do have abortions, but statistically, abortions are

primarily performed on unmarried females.) There are a lot of single mothers out

1there that accepted the consequences of their mistakes and became what their child

needed them to be, but they are few and far between. Women that are unwilling to

marry before they become sexually active are women that have not counted the cost

of their choices, Gal. 6:7-8. They are not the only ones that suffer from their poor

choices, either.

It is statistically proven that the best environment in which to raise a child is

within a godly home of both a father and a mother that are committed to one another

in holy matrimony and to God Almighty, Eph. 6::1-4, Ps. 128. Intention to be a mother

should begin with intention to be a wife first. But let’s not be vague about that. The

Bible has a lot to say about both wisdom and prudence, stating that the two should

go hand in hand as a prerequisite to any decision-making, Prov. 8:12. I didn’t just

choose a husband. I also chose the father of my future child. Too many women have

discovered too late that the man they chose was not father material - another poor

choice that innocent children have to suffer. “Well, you can’t help who you fall in love

with, Amy.” Anyone that believes this is how to choose a husband doesn’t understand

love. Loving someone doesn’t obligate you to marry them, and it certainly doesn’t

mean they are loving you in return. The care they give you is the care they will also

give their children, so pay attention to that very important detail.

There is also a lot to be said about being congruent as a husband and wife.

Attempting to raise a child under two different moral standards is a recipe for

disaster. No one can serve two masters, Lk. 16:13, and yet many married couples try

and force their children to do so. The man a woman chooses should be a like-minded

half of the whole of parenthood.

2I hope I haven’t frightened anyone away from being a mother by detailing some

of the responsibilities first. It is indeed a heavy responsibility, but God did not design

it to be done alone. Yes, we as women are strong and capable of taking it on, but God

provided us with good men so we wouldn’t have to go it alone. I am proud of the

father my husband is, and he makes my job as a mother easier than it would ever have

been by myself. He is the protector, provider, and patriarch of our household, as God

has called him to be, Gen. 18:19. That’s not to say I don’t have anything to do on my

end of the parenthood, Prov. 31.

The benefits of being a mother have outweighed the hardships by tenfold, Ps.

127:3-5. I am so proud of my daughter. No relationship I have compares to the one

with my child. When I first became a mother, I had all these big ideas starting out that

never accounted for my daughter’s personality. I learned over the years what it took to

be “Mama”. I learned how to care for a person that couldn’t care for herself…yet. It was

my job to teach her how. I learned how she learns, how she processes, what sets her

off, what calms her down, what she likes and dislikes. I learned to let go of what

needed letting go and hold on to what was worthwhile. Don’t get me wrong; I made

plenty of mistakes on this road, some small and some big. I’m still making mistakes.

But after 17 years, my husband and I can proudly say that we have successfully

parented a loving, intelligent, creative Christian young lady. We could not have done

this without God and His word, Ps. 127:1.

My daughter has also taught me. Jesus said, “Let the little children come to Me,

and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of God.” (Mk. 10:14) I’ve improved

in love, patience, self-discipline, humility, selflessness, and joyfulness because of my

precious offspring. I want to be all those things for God, Gal. 5:22-23, but for her, too.

3There is nothing so sobering than to see my child doing something bad that she

learned from me. I had to change myself in order to help her grow into what God

wants her to be. The first step to doing that was to admit to her that I had done

something wrong. That made me better at both confessing my faults and praying,

James 5:16. Nothing made me a prayer like motherhood. She is the very air that I

breathe, and I would step in front of a speeding bus to save her…so I can most

definitely pray for her.

Being a mother has also given me a perspective I wouldn’t have otherwise; that

of the hurt caused me when seeing my child being hurt by others. God watched us kill

His Son. He let it happen because, without His blood, we would never be able to come

back to God, Mt. 26:28, Heb. 9:22, but each drop of blood that fell wasn’t just Jesus

giving His life. It was God giving His Son. What’s more, I don’t know that my Mama

heart could endure what Mary’s endured, John 19:25. Only God could create a love

like that, and we can experience it through motherhood.

I am blessed. Every mother is blessed, Lk. 1:28,42. We are entrusted with the

souls of our children. It is our job to educate them in the word of God, 2 Tim. 1:3-5;

3:14-15. The only way to do this properly is to LIVE it, Deut. 6:1-9. Don’t just be a good

mother. Be a godly mother.